titled “LAST CALL,” written by part-time Wellfleetian, Daniel Okrent.  This is a MUST-READ.

One of the many, many things that I learned is that cocktail parties – the idea that you would bring guests into your home just to drink alcohol and not eat dinner, too - began as a by-product of Prohibition, when people who could obtain liquor would hold a drinking party at home for their friends.

So I asked myself, what function do these parties serve nowadays?

I have attended, planned, and co-hosted many of these parties. Looking back, it seems that the best ones were meant to give something back to those invited.  And if, by the way, we raised money for a great cause, well, that was even better.

Cocktail parties can be a great way to retain donors by thanking them for their gifts and their commitment to your cause.  It can remind donors that your cause is also their cause. (It is important to find ways to do this regularly.)  And it can be a way to recruit and retain valued volunteers.

If your cocktail party is designed to be a giveback, then your organization’s supporters will happily bring new friends – potential supporters – to meet you and the others who lead that group.  That makes it a good way to expand your organization’s friends.  And I know – since you read my blogs – that you’ve heard me on that issue!

Nothing is more important than keeping your old friends and making new ones, just like the grade school song says: “Make new friends, but keep the old/ One is silver and the other gold.”

How true!

So, yes, hold some cocktail parties!  Have fun, give back, and help your organization be sustainable over time.

Cheers!

I’ve spent the last week reflecting on that statement and the nonprofit’s reaction.

My fundraising experience has taught me that while some people do give for altruistic reasons, most people only think they do.

Clearly NPR and other p ublic radio and TV stations offer “premiums” as part of their fundraising drives for good reasons.  For a gift of $120, you can get a book, DVD, and CD of Pavarotti, or Suze Orman, or Brain Fitness programs. And so on.  And in exchange they receive larger gifts.

Similarly, I’ve found that while the altruism has to be present – and therefore it has to be the cornerstone of your case statement – successful major gift programs also have to contain “gimmes.”

♦ Offer to have your potential donor meet a celebrity and the gift may double for the same cause.

♦ Offer hard-to-find tickets for a sports team (box seats of course) and you can raise a tidy sum.

The cause must hold a soft spot in the potential donor’s heart, but most of the time that is not sufficient to close the deal.

To make your case successfully, put your cause front and center and be sure to sweeten the case with something for the donor themselves: a named brick, an introduction to a celebrity, field level box seats, a memorial for a loved one … a special opportunity exclusively for that donor.

Image:  the1secondfilm

A few days ago a colleague told me a story about a board member who had just recently met a potential donor, and already had tried to solicit a major gift from that individual.

Naturally the gift was not forthcoming.

As you read the sentence above, when you saw the word “naturally,” what did you think? Perhaps it occurred to you that the potential donor needed more time to feel part of that organization’s family. Perhaps you thought the board member in our story did not make a good case for the gift.

Over and over I see and hear about Board members whose passion for their organization’s mission overrides their usual good sense about how relationships work … naturally.

Now you’re thinking, she’s back to that hobby horse about making friends and relationship building. Indeed I am. Why? If you’ve been reading my blogs, you know the answer.

Whether you are asking for small or large gifts from someone whom you know is interested in your organization’s mission, two things have to occur: a real relationship that has taken effort and time, and making a good case for that gift.  (If it’s a large gift that you’re asking for, then do your homework with that person’s capacity and donor history, too.)

Don’t be so eager for that gift that you end up creating an awkward situation between the potential donor and your organization.  Use your good sense about people to read the signals from that donor as you cultivate your relationship with him or her.

You’ll know when the time is right to ask, and you are much more likely to be successful.

Image: John-Morgan, http://www.flickr.com/photos/aidanmorgan/

The power of participation

Have you ever seen a child’s face light up when you ask them to help you? It doesn’t matter whether you’re making a batch of cookies, or fixing a broken appliance, that child wants to be included.  Your offer helps that child feel wanted, loved, needed.

In my experience, we never outgrow that reaction to an offer of help from someone we care about.

Think of the fundraising implications of that!

On the other hand, I have seen people who support a nonprofit’s mission who want to be included in that organization’s work. They want to be asked. Sometimes they even go so far as to ask how they can help. (I am NOT talking about money here.)  And I’ve even seen these requests go unanswered – or worse, seen the offer turned away.

Now think of the fundraising implications of that!

Please share your experiences and thoughts about this.

Image attribution: http://www.flickr.com/photos/kelleys/ / CC BY-SA 2.0

The project relies on people from all walks of life to manage it.  Some of those folks have managed to leave the people working with them feeling very frustrated.  As days go by, I watch the level of frustration rise. Angry emails. Curt responses. You know what it's like.

Meanwhile I find myself thinking, "Lucky these managers don't have raise any funds for this project." Even I would be hard pressed to donate to people whom I find frustrating.

The relationships among people in the project also remind me about how small our little home, Cape Cod, really is ~ and how easy it is to burn bridges.

Whether you are working on a fundraising project or something that appears to be unrelated, on Cape Cod everything is related.

So keep on friendraising! You never know when it will serve your organization's mission now or in the future.

This project has used people from all walks of life in management roles.  Because many of these people have few real leadership skills, the frontline workers are struggling and frustrated.

So it has occurred to me - luckily, these "managers" don't have to raise funds for this project.

The workers' frustrations also serve as a reminder about burnt bridges.  Since we all live on a small spit of sand, 30 miles out to sea, burning any bridge is not a great idea. If we have burned a bridge somewhere nearby, then it may come back to haunt us on our next fundraising project.

You have heard me say in more than one blog that relationships are the key to successful fundraising.  My current project, although unrelated to fundraising, has served to underscore that notion with a thick red line!

Keep on friendraising!

The key to success

Many years ago, the first time I was hired to do fundraising as a small part of my job, the very thought of asking someone for a large gift left me nearly paralyzed.  I could not imagine having that much audacity.  The idea was unsettling and ran counter to how I saw my relationships with people.

I was mentored by a savvy man who simply showed me that genuine friendship was the key.  He would become real friends with potential donors and simply share his passion for the mission, and keep them updated.

When it came time for a capital campaign, he let them know about it and how the successful outcome of the campaign would benefit them.  I saw, then, that they would clearly signal whether they wanted to participate.

Years later, when I was the head of my own development function, I set about making friends - lots of them – and sharing my passion for the organization’s mission. I found ways (before Constant Contact) to keep them “in the loop.”  I did my homework.

Lo and behold, donations increased dramatically.

The moral of this story is that every single person in your organization who can make friends is a potential fundraiser, and they never ever have to “ask” for the large gift.  Yes, someone has to do that, of course.

But everyone in the organization can play a comfortable role in fundraising if they can comfortably make friends.

At the top of the list is that it's all about relationships between people.  I've always loved work that is people-oriented.  And really, fundraising is not about the "ask," although a lot of ink is spent on the "ask."

It really is about finding people with whom you share a passion for your mission, and then building a friendship with that person.

So for me, fundraising - or friendship building - comes naturally.

My second reason for loving fundraising is that it helps us solve public policy problems that are not being solved through government. Sometimes a nonprofit can laser in on a problem in their local area - like many great Cape Cod nonprofits do - better than any level of government can.

We're talking about neighbors and friends helping neighbors and friends. We're talking about that idea, "It takes a village...."  For me, there is nothing quite like the feeling of helping our friends and neighbors. And I've discovered that many folks here share that feeling.

Finally, I love fundraising because for me, its a way to give back. In my own life there have been times when I've needed someone to have my back, or mentor me, and I've received that help and leaned on it. I struggled growing up with a tough family situation. I've had other occasions since to lean on someone for a time. So when things are going well, it is time to pay it forward.

So basically, for me, fundraising is a way to make new friends, provide a community service, help solve problems for my friends and neighbors here on Cape Cod. ♥

Karen Murdoch of Women of Fishing Families (W.O.F.F.) sent me this message:  “I love your idea of FUNraising - I could not agree with you more! Fun AND fundraising should go hand in hand - and that is a huge part of who we are as a group - having a great time while raising funds for a great cause!” Her team held a … um … hairy FUNraiser, the Mustachio Basio! The tagline is, “It ain’t scary bein’ hairy.”

Here’s how it works:  There is a $20 entry fee, and the first 25 entries receive a free Mustachio Bashio T-shirt.

• Must be CLEAN SHAVEN for Mustachio Mug Shot. Mustache Mug Shot must be taken by a WOFF Mustachio Professional on Thursday or Friday Night.
• $10 for women's t-shirts
• Wear your Mustachio Bashio t-shirt the night of the event and get your name entered into a raffle for a RED NUN Gift Card!
• Ladies - join in the fun by voting for your favorite Mustache Man throughout the mustache-growing month at the Red Nun. If your mustache man wins, YOU win a Gift Card to the Red Nun!

Judging is held on (date and time) at the Red Nun Bar and Grill.

Categories include:

Overall winner

Most Creative

Crowd Favorite

Judge's Choice

Saddest Attempt

Marketing tag line: “Don't be a Dip! Show us your upper lip!”

For more info on this event or W.O.F.F., visit their website ~ www.womenoffishingfamilies.org

If your organization has a great FUNraising idea, please share it with us.  The nonprofits on Cape Cod are all here to help all of us. Sharing great ideas will help expand the fundraising pie.

BackOffice Associates of South Harwich raised $15,720 recently in donations for the Lower Cape Outreach Council.  Company co-founders Tom and Trish Kennedy created an incentivized employee donation program to accomplish their fundraising.

The Kennedys have Red Sox game season tickets. Knowing they couldn’t get to all 81 games, employees were offered tickets to home games if they made a donation to the Lower Cape Outreach Council.

The Kennedys hope that this donation inspires other local businesses to give back to the community.

[Thanks to the Cape Commerce column of the Cape Cod Times, Feb. 18, 2010.]

I hope that the Lower Cape Outreach Council finds a way to "give back" to BackOffice, too. As I always say, this is a small spit of sand, and the nonprofits also have to support the for-profit companies so that we all can thrive. It's that triangle I talk about on my "How Vantage Works" page. Click and scroll down: http://www.vantagecapecod.com/?page_id=24.

Send in your ideas for corporate FUNraising!